Things Americans Believe

Things Americans Believe

by Minna vander Pfaltz

TopTenz:- Mr. White must be believed because he speaks at 200 wpm or he won’t be able to get all the information in. There are too many “specialists” on the Internet who offer up their opinion in the name of knowledge.

America and Americans are better than anyone else on the face of the planet. The Brits once believed this. “Britain first” didn’t exactly get them any friends, either.

Guns. Real guns. Big guns. Bang bang rat-a-tat-tat guns. The solution to every problem–not only at home but internationally.

Americans do not believe in the Second Amendment because they’ve never read it.

America’s problems are all due to mental illness, a belief that smacks of mental illness itself.

Curling is a game.

Pop culture does not influence society.

Bigger is better–including that something is too big to fail. All of the giants died out.

Reality TV is real.

Rap is music.

Aliens will visit here first. . .and then destroy the rest of the world. Notice: this belief implies the US is the most deserving of first destruction; that is, the most dangerous place.

Kansas is flat. This is true if you discount the eastern half of the state where there are hills and valleys and marshland and some trees that have miraculously survived the rampant real estate boom. And second. . .that you discount the land rising steadily from about mid-state from a few hundred feet above sea level to about 4,000 feet above sea level at the Colorado border.

The Quakers were ever tea totalers. I guess this is why there’s an alcoholic drink known as the Dead Quaker. 18th century. Out in the woods. A follower of The Penn walked into the tavern and made a bet. He won. He stood up to receive his prize. He died. No. He was not the one who turned ’em.

Columbus discovered America.

The flat Earth theory.

We liberated Texas from the Mexicans.

Astrology.

There’s a dark side to the Moon.

Freedom of religion means I get to impose my religion on you, God damn it. Actually, the document reads, in paraphrase, “the freedom to worship” the religion of your choice. Of course, there has been down through history religious worship that imposed itself on others that included sacrifice, usually of slaves or captured others. And practiced exclusionary behavior. . .like witch hunting. Who is it will gainsay history, God damn it?

A foetus smaller than the very point of an extremely sharp pencil is a viable human. What, in fact, is life?

Americans believe the world, especially diseases, accidents and air, is against them. Sometimes those enemy aliens are so small you can’t see them. That is to say, America is paranoid. . .you might say too careful.

Teaching STEM is the answer to all of America’s needs. And the humanities?

There’s something inherently wrong with the poor. They are a drag on society. But it is the über-rich, the people who hide their money elsewhere or become involved in external money making who are a drain on the economy because they are putting nothing back into the country’s economy that allowed them to get so rich. They are using resources that others are paying for.

Economics and economic efficiency are The Way, the answer for making everything work better. But, in fact, economics is like casino gambling. Remember Hurricane Sandy that flooded NYC? And Wall Street did not function at all for two weeks? Guess what happened to the US and the World economy during that time? Answer: nothing. Nothing at all. A bunch of slavering greedy company proxies gambling. Economics cuts the human right out of the equation.

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Some Arrogant Things in This World

Some Arrogant Things in This World by Minna and Jim

Religions. All religions. Especially the Chosen People religions. Why? Whatchayall done? The rest of us are shits? God has more than one Chosen People? And they all hate each other? Pretty damned whimsical God, no? Pretty damn awful Chosen People, no? And then all those Chosen People start arguing and fighting and killing amongst themselves–and since that’s not satisfying enough, they begin arguing and fighting and killing everybody. The banner of war is always the same: I GOT THE ANSWER! Follow me! Follow me or die! Arrogant it is to maintain you’re the best when you murder, mutilate, rape and commit genocide. And. . .their God approves of this.

That the Earth and Earthlings are so very important, the only important one in the entire fucking universe for aliens to visit–and, according to some, direct our development. Well, you sure can’t say that any help given has led anything other than utter disaster. At least, they’re not gods, these aliens; though I understand some folks think so. Kinda fits: what’s unexplainable is either God’s doing or the Aliens’ doing, for humans are really dumb fucks. Sounds like a sounder of Luddites. Why can’t it be that we just don’t know it all yet?

Donald Trump.

America is the Greatest Country in the World. Shall we count all of the prior greatest countries–who were great–before America’s self-proclaimed pre-eminence? Great Britain? The Spanish? The Normans? The Nation of Islam? The Persians? The Romans? The Greeks? The Babylonians? The Mycenaean’s? The Egyptians? The Chinese? The Japanese? Actually, the only “greatest” are perhaps the Sumerians who seem to have started it all, in the West (Middle East). Just about everything else that we have comes from the Greeks and the writers and philosophers whom the Roman rulers disapproved of and the science the Muslims gave us. Nah. America is arrogant in its self-assessment.

The consortium that created the DSM V. After coming to the decision that everything about human behavior is a mental illness, they forgot to include themselves.

Literary agents. Literary agents also happen to be the lowest form of life on Earth. They make their money from the hard work of others. They not only charge the artists for their “representation,” they charge them for office expenses that are then deducted from their tax liability as a “business expense.” And then they charge the publishers for getting them manuscripts of no depth and moderate literary ability. Any wonder people don’t read any more?

Budweiser.

Me when I’m manic. . .or very, very defensive.

Steven Pinker, arrogant stupidity. Not a linguist by degree. America’s greatest pseudo-intellectual. He is so knowledgeable and wonderful that not one international linguistics researcher or journal mentions his name, not even to show how ludicrous some “thinking” is.

The owner of Youtube who believes her desire for money is more important than the product she offers. Thus it is we have adverts in the middle movies, videos, documentaries and music, sometimes more frequently than found on TV. There is no pleasure for us in this arrogant greed of hers that interrupts music and documentaries and movie action in the middle–even recorded live performances. How arrogant of her to impose her greed and ill-judgment on us.

Pinterest. Imagine. . .someone’s idea of knowledge–or actual knowledge–and someone’s collection of whatever being so priceless as to not be accessible except to those within the clique. La!

Utopias and their makers. Akin to religions who teach “My way or no way.” In the modern world, this would be Marx’s Communism: a perfect place. Utopias ride on the idea of they’ve got it all and, so, no change is necessary. No change. Change upsets the balance. Which is a violation of the Second Law of Thermodynamics (that most do not understand). If there is no change, if nothing is going on, if there is perfect balance, there is death. The “chaos” that entropy leads to is total balance: no change, no development, nothing. If our bodies, if organic life, got to this point, we are dead. In death, the only change is from the outside. See Chance and Necessity by Jacques Monod. Balancing, like a seesaw, is constantly going on: 2H + O2 = H2O is not a done deal. Chemistry puts a double arrow going both ways  in there because the reaction is constantly going back and forth and includes various other combinations, like H2O2, HO, H3O, H, H2, O, H3 and they’re all in flux. If it stops, you gots nut’n. A seesaw perfectly balanced (without no one on it), is dead, there is no life, there is no potentiality. Unchangingness = no life. But don’t tell that to Utopians. Utopians not only believe they are right, they believe they know it all.